HAD I KNOWN. Wasted Years: When Your "Sorry" Is Too Late

A powerful excerpt from Expressions of Grace by Confidence Busiah.

The painful contrast of life before and after your critical choices.

Regret is one of the heaviest burdens a person can carry. There comes a time when remorse or repentance arrives too late. It creeps in when the opportunity to act wisely has already passed.

You wish you had said "sorry". You wish you could take back the hurtful, painful, or hateful words you spoke. You wish you had followed advice and accepted good counsel. You wish you could turn back the hands of time and reverse the damage. But the moment has long passed, and the consequences are heartbreaking.

You wish you had lived differently or acted differently. You wish you had studied. You wish you had been sober, humble, respectful, and reflective. You wish you had been kinder, tolerant, and accommodating. But now sorrow overwhelms your heart, and the damage stares you in the face.

There is a beautiful Twi expression that perfectly captures the tragedy of regret, it says:

"W'ayɛ saa ayɛ saa ama kwame kɔ."

It speaks of a point of no return, where stubbornness and poor choices finally catch up with you and or cause irreversible damage to marriage or a prospective relationship. Look at the wall in the prison cell of the attached image. The inscriptions tell the whole story of the man: "Aka me ti" (I am trapped, it has caught up with me, I'm finished!) and "Me hunuiɛ a anka" (Had I known, if only I knew).

You wish you had kept quiet. you wish you had been patient. You wish you had controlled your temper. You wish you had walked away quietly without escalating that simple issue. But now, what plays on repeat is the painful memory replaying over and over in your mind. The regret bites at your heart each time you remember where you went wrong.

The truth is that every choice carries consequences. Life is a series of choices. Some lead to life, others to destruction. Some lead to joy and honor, others to sorrow and disgrace. That is why the Word of God urges us:

“Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts” (See Hebrews 3:15)

In the end, you do not want to find yourself looking back through the lens of King Solomon's warning in Proverbs:

“In the end you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body. You will say, ‘How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors? I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace.’” (Proverbs 5:11–14)

The Wiser Path is to Walk in Obedience Now

Do not wait until regret becomes your teacher. Every day is a fresh opportunity to choose rightly.

• Choose silence over anger.

• Choose purity over lust.

• Choose absolute fidelity to your spouse over immorality.

• Choose obedience over rebellion.

• Choose wisdom over folly.

It is called Self-Control.

In doing so, you will guard your heart and preserve your dignity and destiny.

And even if you have already fallen and have wasted many years, remember that God’s mercy is greater than your mistakes. His grace can redeem your past and restore your future. But the wiser path is to walk in obedience now, so that tomorrow your testimony will be of joy and gladness, not sorrow and pain.